


Wishes of the Restless

by deird1



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, Poetry, season: b4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-21
Updated: 2009-11-21
Packaged: 2017-10-03 12:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deird1/pseuds/deird1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A poem, in the style of Dr Seuss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishes of the Restless

I wish that I had super strength.  
And I can tell you why.  
Then I could kick, and punch, and run,  
and jump up really high.

I would beat up all the vampires,  
if I was super strong.  
And just to keep it interesting,  
my friends could come along.

If I had super powers  
I would have a lot of fun.  
And every time I staked a vamp  
I'd say a witty pun.

BUT…  
If I did have super strength,  
my principal would hate me.  
My mother would not understand.  
And nobody would date me.

And maybe one day I would have  
to kill my broody boyfriend.  
SO…  
I don't think being super strong  
_would_ be fun, in the end.

Instead of having super strength,  
I know what I should do.  
I wish that I had Watcher brains  
(and I'd be British, too!).

I would polish up my glasses.  
And I'd wear a lot of tweed.  
And every evening I would choose  
a brand new book to read.

I would say "dear lord" and "bloody hell"  
and other things like that.  
And if I wished to have a pet,  
I'd get a zombie cat.

If I had Watcher brains  
then I would drink a lot of tea.  
And every time a book was needed,  
people would ask _me_.

BUT…  
If I was a Watcher,  
whenever monsters were about,  
they would break into the library  
and try to knock me out.

And staying up all night to research  
would make me quite tired.  
And if I loved my Slayer  
like a daughter, I'd be fired.

AND SO…  
I won't have Watcher brains.  
They wouldn't be much fun.  
I wish that I had mojo,  
and could out-do everyone.

If only I had magic,  
I'd achieve my every goal.  
I'd protect us all from ghosts,  
or give a vampire back his soul.

"I'm the best at everything!"  
I happily would gloat.  
And all around me, people's pencils  
would begin to float.

And even if I found a spell  
I could not manage yet,  
At least I'd still be getting  
a nice rat as my new pet.

BUT…  
Not _everything_ is better  
when you put more magic in.  
Or maybe I'd, by accident,  
produce an evil twin.

And though magic is as easy as  
a short walk in the park,  
a few years down the track  
my future's looking kinda dark.

AND SO…  
I've got a great idea.  
A much, much better plan.  
I wish I was a Zeppo.  
Just a standard also-ran.

With my groovy Zeppo powers  
I could always save the day.  
I would scoff and jeer at danger.  
And then I would run away.

I would be great at making jokes  
and pulling silly faces.  
And I'd have some secret knowledge  
for sneaking into army bases.

No undead high school students  
could set bombs inside _my_ town.  
And if clowns tried to stab me  
I would calmly knock them down.

BUT…  
Without some super powers,  
being Zeppo wouldn't thrill me.  
And every single girlfriend that I had  
would try to kill me.

I'd always have to research.  
And I'd have to buy the donuts.  
So I don't want to be Zeppo  
\- I think that job would make me go nuts.

NOW…  
Let me think about it.  
All these things I want are bad.  
And so I wish…  
I wish…  
I wish…  
What _do_ I wish I had?

I need to find the best idea…  
I need a better way… Ah!  
I know!  
_I will be all those things!_  
I'll be a Combo Slayer!

With the mighty power of library books,  
a very special heart,  
some magic, and some super strength,  
I'd really look the part!

I would sneak into the secret labs,  
just because I could.  
Then I'd beat up all the cyborgs,  
and I'd drop them where they stood.

BUT…  
Normal Slayers don't like Combo Slayers,  
so it seems.  
They would hunt me down, and find me,  
and they'd kill me in my dreams.

AND SO…  
I think there are some things  
that would not really suit me.  
And that is why I think that I  
just wish to be a Scoobie.


End file.
